Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
