I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
