so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
