My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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