my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i love accidental penises.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
