if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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