Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
