I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
