New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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