just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
