We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
