Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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