and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
