you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
