My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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