took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They took my balls.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
