Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
