What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
