Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
