Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
