Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
