I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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