This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
