the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
