i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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