When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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