He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
