Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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