Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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