They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
