omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My dick has a subreddit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
