did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
