I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
