Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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