Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
