You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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