Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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