How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
