Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
