Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
