Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
