i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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