girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
