he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
