You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
