idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
