This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
