Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
