Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
