There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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