Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
