It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
